We often hear about personal growth as a bold, public declaration—before-and-after photos, motivational posts, or dramatic life shifts. But not all self-improvement happens in the spotlight. Some changes are quiet, hesitant, and deeply personal.

There is a beautiful book called The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, which captures the deeply human instinct to grow without fanfare—to change, not for applause, but for yourself.
This is bareleveling—the act of trying to better yourself in secret, afraid that others might dismiss your efforts as unnecessary, self-important, or just plain silly. Maybe you’re tweaking your posture, practicing a new language under your breath, or waking up earlier without announcing it. The fear isn’t just of failure but of unwanted attention—of a casual adjustment being mistaken for an overblown transformation.

The word coined for the book comes from the Armenian բարելավվել (barelavvel), meaning “to become better.”

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is a compendium of new words for emotions. Its mission is to shine a light on the fundamental strangeness of being a human being—all the aches, demons, vibes, joys, and urges that are humming in the background of everyday life.

—John Koenig, https://www.thedictionaryofobscuresorrows.com